We guarantee you this video will make you laugh so hard. Poor dogs completely tired of humans. It would really be hilarious if our best friend could talk. These are some of the things they might say.

Yes I’m large, but I want to be a lap dog. Don’t you have dreams?

Why can’t I pee in the house if you can?

Can you turn on Animal Planet? The Puppy Bowl is this Sunday!

I have crush on the dog down the street.

I don’t like the thunder! Stop laughing at me!

If I’m humping my stuff animal, don’t snapchat me. That’s an invasion of privacy.

Why do you always step on me?

Asking if I chewed on the couch is a stupid question. Who else would it be? Your roommate?

Yes, I played with the toilet paper. You left me alone for six hours.

Why the hell did you get a cat? The cat sucks.

Why does the cat get to use the bathroom inside? I get yelled at for that.

I’m very selective. You can’t just bring a random dog here and expect me to like them.

Offering to give me a treat, then forgetting you made that promise sucks. Are you Satan?

How would you feel if I put you on a fucking leash?

Oh that boy on the park is on a leash. I feel for you kid. Respect.

Why the hell is there a tree in the house if I can’t pee on it?

How about you go outside in the rain?

I’m teething and it hurts. Don’t yell at me for chewing everything.

I smell bacon! I want bacon!!

While you were on your cell phone not watching me, I got lost and it’s getting dark and I’m scared.

Why must you talk to me like I’m an infant? I’m 91 years old in dog years.

I’m about to get car-sick and you don’t seem to care.

Okay, I just threw up. Don’t yell at me – I warned you.

I hate getting wet. Why do I need a bath?

You tricked me! You told me we were going for a ride and then you took me to the goddam vet.

I hate this cone.

How would you feel if I put a cone on you and watched you walk into every wall?

Why are we watching this stupid show? And why are you crying?

Why must you insist I wear this sweater? I look like an idiot.

Why am I wearing shoes? I don’t go anywhere.

Why am I in this cage? This is animal cruelty!  

You brought me to a house and are leaving me. Why?!                                                  Oh you’re going on vacation? I could use a vacation. Take me!                                  

I’m sorry I took a shit in the house, but where the hell have you been and why are you wearing the same clothes from last night?

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